Sunday, 26 October 2014

Limericks for Halloween

Here we have five independent limericks on a theme of Halloween. They don't have individual titles (does anyone title limericks?) so... Well that's it, really.

 Limericks for Halloween

When that knock makes you open the door,
You’ll see witches and ghosties galore.
With the end of October
You’ll doubt that you’re sober
As Hallowe’en’s come round once more.


It’s late and the graveyard is still.
Do the backs of your arms feel that chill?
Now the witching hour’s near
There’s that frisson of fear:
Makes you think of that phrase – Time to kill…


Bolt your doors as the werewolves run free.
Shade your windows so vampires can’t see.
Do not heed “Trick or Treat”
As they crave human meat
And, besides, it leaves more food for me…


The zombies are walking tonight.
Slack-jawed, they are out for a bite.
In dozens they number,
In dozens they lumber,
Fast food is beyond them. All right?


A vampire with teeth made of wood
Wondered how it was, his dentist could
Choose to make them from balsa
Which made them look falser –
Continually* stained from the blood.

(* N.B. read Continually as four syllables – i.e. con-tin-yull-y)