For the looming Pub Poets night on 3 April, I was trying to think what to write, I considered limericks and ended up thinking about Edward Lear and his poem "The Owl and the Pussycat".
That's how I came to write a parody - and the alternative title had me thinking about failed attempts to influence local government and how these might feasibly be circumvented by those ruling the country.
The Foul-Mannered Bureaucrat
The foul-mannered bureaucrat went to see
how the dutiful cast their vote.
But something was funny despite all the money
wrapped up keeping int'rests afloat.
He scowled, wond'ring what they were all thinking of,
As he sat in the town hall bar,
You're not too fussy, when push comes to shove,
How incredibly wussy you are – you are,
How incredibly wussy you are.
Thus he said "Rank and file – will think a denial
is something your conscience should bring.
But payment's sufficient, so don't be deficient;
you know how the government swing."
Then he went away, coming back the next day
to then stand where the "throng"'s opposed.
And as we knew he would – an officer stood
with results now the votes had been closed,
with results now the votes had been closed.
"I declare to those seated – the motion's defeated."
Said the bureaucrat softly –"oh bum"
So he went back down south, a bad taste in his mouth
to the Minister at the Asylum.
But all was not lost; despite extra cost
the Minister said "I'm no fool.
Set up a committee from friends in the City
the locals we will overrule
the locals we will overrule."